Are you friends with a farmer? Expect the unexpected.

Being friends with a farmer can be quite an experience; to the uninitiated, we farmers are a strange bunch. Don't say I didn't warn you.

  • There may be a surprise birth now and again. Animals are unpredictable and they sometimes catch us off guard. Darn creatures refuse to stick to a schedule. We don't mind, even if we have to cancel plans, because babies are what we do. They're beautiful.

  • Sometimes, those births don't always go as planned, and kids end up in the house. With the kids. Who see nothing strange in this. Most likely, the kids will be wearing diapers to protect the floors. Both kinds of kids.

  • You're welcome to join in the birth experience, if you watch quietly. If you are a confirmed puker/fainter please do us both a favor and stay away. I will leave you in a pool of your own vomit until I have finished attending to my animals and don't think I won't.

  • Attend a party at a farmer's house and there's likely to be other farmers present. Often dinner conversation is not for the faint hearted. Sorry 'bout that.

  • There may be odd animals in odd places. Brownie (Angora doe) in the laundry room? Nothing new there. She's partial to cat food, and she doesn't like goats. Brandy (Spotted Saddle Horse) on the lawn? Mower is broken.

  • Goats like to join in with family fun....

  • Careful where you park your car....

  • Human farm kids have remarkable relationships with the animals. Particularly their chosen dog. (Look how guilty the dog looks. Totally knows she shouldn't be on the sofa.)

  • We have odd fashion sense - and we don't care. (Chiggers. Need I say more?)

  • Speaking of fashion sense... pants are not mandatory. (Hey, he's wearing shoes. What more d'you want?!)